Don't even talk to me

Jennifer broke up with her b-friend, again and was in a foul mood. And it appears that this time, unlike the last 6, he isn't going to beg her to take him back.

I didn't know any of this until I was heading to the gym with her and only wanted to stay 25 min. She wanted to stay an hour or more to work off some frustration at the non-texting, non-calling Adam. I took her back around the block, grabbed the dog leash and was ready to let her go by herself, until Gary corralled me and told me to go with her, at least compromise on 45 min.

She and I road in stony silence to the gym, whereas she sat and cried in the car most of the time, rebuffing all my entries and so I ended up going to the gym for an hour to work out. But I was not in the mood to talk to her, nor she I and so we stalked into the house and went literally to our separate rooms. I don't think Gary knew what to do when the two women of the house weren't speaking to each other.

An argument that needed to happen

It all started over Gary and I griping at Jennifer for being on her cell phone 24-7, and ended up with - at one point Gary and Jennifer nose to nose yelling at each other, with Jennifer threatening to leave, and Gary snapping back saying "fine go ahead."

Fortunately, neither meant it, and at least Gary apologized. But this fight has been a long time coming. They both are so alike, bull headed and both get their feelings hurt easily. And Jennifer truly hangs on every compliment Gary says (like I did with my dad), and Gary finds it hard to brush off his 16-year-old's rudeness (sort of comes with the territory, but still it hurts).

And then we also started arguing about Adam, and if he didn't get back in school and into a stable abode, she wasn't going to be able to hang out with him any more. That went over well.

In the end, Jennifer and Gary are still under one roof. Jennifer is still allowed to see Adam, at least through this week. And I don't think Jennifer is grounded, tho at one point in the argument, she was.

But I have promised to set her up with a counselor to talk to, who might give her the same advice as mom and dad. But maybe it will seem different NOT coming from one of us.

Parents fight, kids cringe

Even if they pretend they don't care and are listening to their iPod or texting.

This came home as J. told me after her v-day bowling date with her boyfriend, that he was rather gloomy because I guess his parents had been fighting alot. Don't know what about. I asked if either had lost a job of late (always a possibility now) but she said no.

Apparently this happened on v-day, and it ended up with a box of chocolates getting stomped on by mom and then thrown (all at once, or all together, I don't know) at dad. Sort of ruins the spirit of the day.

"You and dad never fight," she added.

Well, actually, we do, I told her. We just have a tendency to go to opposite ends of the house and probably each of us figuring out if we can make bills on our own, we clean, and then sanity returns and we try to talk it out. Somedays. The sun going down on your anger thing has really never worked for us.

I told her it bothered me when my parents fought too, usually over dad's drinking. Okay, amend that, it was always over dad's drinking. But I don't think they ever threw anything at each other. Lobbing words was hard enough.

Didn't you know about that?

Was chatting with some college students, who were busy rewiring the computer system in the office, and one of them turned out to be a student teacher at Cascade Middle School.

She had seen Jennifer in the play, had liked her performance, and then the conversation turned to the general nature of the school.

"Did she tell you about that big fight there," student teacher asked.

Nooooo

"Yeah, 20 kids were in a brawl in the courtyard during lunch, and they had designated students to distract the teachers in the lunchroom, so the fight could start."

Great. No I hadn't heard about that. Since Auburn Senior High is a larger version of Cascade, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she won't be around, if and went that happens there.

So, how was your day at school? How was the fight?

I'm beginning to wonder if I should ask this question as a follow up to the first.

Yesterday, on the way home, my daughter breathlessly told me about how one girl walked up and started punching another in the middle school courtyard during lunch. The entire eighth grade knew about the upcoming smack down, it seems, and were all there to watch, as one girl, Anne, walked up, and start punching another girl, Megan, known for being the eighth-grade school bully.

"She totally deserved it," said my daughter, who said that the first girl had bragged all morning about how she was going to let Megan have it.

"Even the teachers weren't sympathetic, no one likes here," my daughter continued.

Anne, who started the fight, had a black eye at the end of it, while Megan broke her hand, punching back.

Finally one of the teachers arrived on the scene, separated the two, and marched them into the principal's office. A one-day suspension for the bully, a three-day expulsion for the girl who started the fight.

This whole conversation led into a discussion on bullies, the way girls fight (lots of hair pulling and slapping), the way boys fight (lots of punching), and why any kid's a bully in the first place. Apparently this bully comes from nice parents, according to my daughter, and a $1 million home.

Okay, but bullies aren't born, they are made, I reminded her. The middle school bullies in my school (before it became the subject of studies and movies like "Mean Girls") hired a much bigger girl than herself to slam people (including me) into lockers.

I surmised that she obviously has problems, probably at home that no one knows about.

"Well, she's a bitch," J. declared, with a sideways glance. But the "bitch" apparently has her uses.

Later that night, as she was brushing her teeth, J., my daughter said that she hoped Megan didn't get in too much trouble. She's a good basketball player and the team needs her.

"We'd really suck without her," she said.