DOL or wrestling. Looks like wrestling will win out

Can't quite believe I'm writing this, but Jennifer is opting for going to watch wrestling, since her friend Adam is at a meet in the t-dome tomorrow, rather than go to the local DOL and take the written. She says Saturday will work just fine. I think what she doesn't realize is that dad will have to take her.

Grounded

That was the final verdict after Jennifer and her friend Adam tried to get together this afternoon to watch the Superbowl at our house.

Apparently he'd done something to piss off his foster parents, and his foster dad didn't believe, for some reason that he was at last night's wrestling match at Kent Meridian High School.He was, because we were there watching him, and JEnnifer was there watching him from 3 pm on (we arrived around 6 pm)

"Did he do something after the match to piss off his parents," I asked, after we found out he wasn't coming to the Superbowl and I asked Jennifer to call her dad to tell him that he could shift down on the house cleaning frenzy a bit. (Yeah, I know he's a 16 year old kid, but still, don't want him seeing our house looking like a dump)

"No mom, his parents are just being jerks!" says outraged daughter.

At here, I just shut up. Agree with Jennifer I feel like I'm betraying the tribe of parents. Agree with the parents and I feel as if my daughter will disown me. And there's no use explaining that sometimes the tone in which a teenager explains themself can still get them grounded, even if they are telling the truth.

Now, The Who have just come on, so see ya later.

Guy friend chases away other hot guys

Jennifer jumped into the car and declared she was brittle (pissed) last week.

Her friend Adam,the one who slept on our couch a few times during x-mas, was grinning like the cat who swallowed the canary outside the Auburn High School gym.

"What's up?"

Apparently during the wrestling tourney that Auburn had against Graham-Kapowsin, a couple of the varsity guys started clustering around Jennifer like bees to honey, to use the trite phrase.

"They were hot, mom, totally hot! And Adam comes over and starts giving them the stink eye and asking what do they think they are doing, like he's my boyfriend." Which he's not.

The guys, quickly noting the alpha-dog syndrome, scatter, which leaves a grinning Adam and as I said, brittle Jennifer.

"Your dad probably has him on the payroll," I said, only half-kidding.

Studying Chemistry huh?

My daughter had gone home with a friend last night, and about 6 pm, asked me to call her dad (her phone had died), to pick her up later. She and Ashley were in the midst of studying their chemistry homework and didn't want to break the flow.

I was monitoring a memorial services at PLU for the four slain police officers, so I "sure, fine, whatevered" her off the phone, and then dialed Gary. He was just pulling in Ashley's driveway and was in no mood to come back. What he did find when he knocked was that the girls were indeed studying chemistry, but not one she was going to have to pass to get an A in that class. Two boys had dropped by. They were chatting in the living room, and the chemistry books were forgotten in the kitchen.

Gary was so pissed he wanted to ground her and called (again interrupting the prayer service) to see what i thought. I hissed through the phone to ground her if he must, and give her a lecture on lying (if it's boys, say so) but I had to go.

He called back again to say he planned to jerk her chain, pretend she was grounded and then let her off the hook...this time. Fine, whatever..I'm about ready to ground you both or block you if you call again.

Guys are weird, Part V1

"Mom, guys are so weird."

I guess I'll have to turn the radio off more often, as it seems to encourage my daughter to talk more on the way to school. At any rate, I said yes, and it really doesn't get any better. After knowing Gary for 25 years, yes, he still does stuff that surprises me, pleases me, annoys me or has me scratching my head. I told her this and asked her then, what was she referring to?

"Well, Anthony still wants to go out with me, Eddie has told me that he likes me, but has asked another girl to homecoming and I think Gunther's bf wants us to get together more than either Gunther and I do."

So, in other words, the Anthony that wantsyouwantsyou, until of course you're his girlfriend is back texting you, Eddie, who wants you as long as you're unavailable is now cooling, and Gunther, well, you're still texting him,but not as a potential boyfriend?

"Yes, that sums it up."

I told here there are some guys that like the chase, more than the actual girl, and it seems like she might have two of those in this mix. And besides, Anthony's mom seems WAY too involved in his dating life, I'd stay away.

"No shit! What is it with parents?"

I don't her I didn't know. Now if she brought a potential drug czar home, yes, I'd probably step in front and center, but as far as I can recall, my parents stayed out of my dating life, with the exception of telling me I couldn't bring boys back to my room and close the door (a policy I've now instituted with J, even tho she hates it as much as I did).

As for the guys that like the chase, more than the girl, stay away from those. I just attended by 30 year reunion from high school. Some of them never grow out of that.

The problems of the pretty people

I didn't know how to advise my daughter in this, as she sat and bemoaned the fact that it isn't always easy being popular and pretty.

(Since I was neither in high school, this was a bit beyond my reach, like questions on 00 sized jeans)

"Since I've been dating anthony, all these other guys have been calling me up, asking me if I'd like to go out," she said, as she perched on the counter, watching me clean up the kitchen (wait, isn't this her chore?)

"Guys generally like what they don't have," I said.

"Yeah, I know," she pouted prettily

"Listen, you're with anthony for now, be with him, and if this doesn't work out, you have back ups..assuming that these guys texting you are not jerks."

Ah, the problems of the beautiful people.

Tolos

Yes, it's just dawned on my daughter that she must pay for the date this Sat. since she's taking Leif to the tolo (this was the cookies at 9pm boy I wrote about earlier). Since I know she has $60 squirreled away in her wallet, she gets to pay for dinner and the tickets.

I think she was hoping I'd bankroll it, but no go. Unless of course, she gets to her dad before I do. Such a softy.

What did you just text?

That was what Jennifer was trying NOT to scream after her cousin (2 years older than her) snatched her cell phone after she took his.

So JJ started texting away, telling this one boy that Jennifer's had her eye on (won't admit it, and no it's not the one we made cookies for at 9pm) that she loved him.

Silence from the other end.

So Jennifer retaliated and texted the same thing to one of JJ's male friends.

Answer back: WTF dude?

JJ quickly rectified the situation, but Jennifer didn't here back from her guy for days.

He's the preening type, so I'm sure that he's thinking about whether Jennifer is telling the truth..or not.

No, we're going home now, before we have to swim home.

That was the basic message I left my daughter last night, as the heavens opened up on Washington and tried to drown us once again, after freezing us last month (didn't that happen last winter as well?)

Gary called from KOMO to say to get out of TAcoma now, since they were talking about closing I5 both directions at Fife. So I did, and called the daughter, to say , sorry, you're not going to be able to go to the wrestling match with your new boy friend. I'm picking you up at 5:30 pm, be outside.

She called back in a huff. She and the friend, Davie, had just done the high school thing of going public, and he started putting his arm around her at lunch, had given her his coat and she wanted to watch him during the match. (he's on the team - short but very muscular).

Soo, I thought, and told her I'd wait outside for about 20 minutes, but then I wanted her to appear, or I'd go find her. That threat apparently worked, and right at 6 pm, she appeared, wearing the treasured guy coat, smelling it (aftershave at 15?) all the way home.

She and her friends are planning on playing up this trist, since I guess there is a cheerleader who likes him, and who hates J for calling her a slut at the beginning of the year (see earlier post). I told her NOT rubbing it in would probably be the most gracious and mature thing she could do. I don't think she's listening.

Who is that sitting beside Jennifer?

This questions was coming from Gary, as we sat across the gym at a recent b-ball game in Auburn. As usual, we pay for her to get in, then she splits from us like we were carriers of the smallpox spores.

After sitting by an old BFF, who has recently be replaced by 2-3 other girls as co-BFs, she landed across the gym from us to watch Auburn girls win a game against a team from Bremerton, I think.

Then J turned her back on her two friends, and started chatting with the guy. Finally, Gary noticed and asked me about him. No clue.

But J filled me in when dad was out of earshot, that yes, this was Davy, and yes she liked him and he liked her, but they weren't going out yet, and certainly hadn't been on a date.

"It's just so difficult to date nowadays" she lamented. At that point dad walked up, so I didn't have a chance to figure out what that meant. In fact, wasn't that what you were just on, unofficially?

Homecoming? Can I go?

Those were the first words out of Jennifer's mouth yesterday as I picked her up from v-ball practice.

"Well, someone's asked you, I assume?"

Well, no. Not yet, anyway.

Apparently Edward had text'd (word?) one of her bf's to see if she knew whether if asked, Jennifer would say yes. Which of course she would. But I'm not sure if that message got back to her or Edward.

Anyway, now she wants a dress, a silver one please, for when Edward does get around to asking.

At this point, I had to start talking about ground rules:

We have to meet the boy first.

No going as a group date with other teens, the driver of which just turned 17.

And if the parents drive (and we don't), we have to meet them too, or at least have a phone conversation.

Jennifer rolled her eyes, but she agreed. If only to get a shot at that silver dress.

Please tell me you've dumped this guy

Was at the racetrack with Gary and Jennifer Sunday, on comp tickets Gary received from a pr firm.

Felt a little conspicuous as I was in jeans, and the rest of the women in dresses or fashionable shorts, as was my daughter. But we did meet up with some sane, and not rich, folks later, and the mom pulled me aside to say that the love interest of J. did indeed have another girlfriend. (This from her son, who is friend of said two-timer).

So I took a deep breath and broke it to Jennifer this evening. She gave me a blank stare.

"I knew that, and I've sent me an angry text, and told him I didn't want to see or speak to him again. He wasn't that cute anyway."

You mean would have tolerated this if he was?

You mean we're talking about a real guy?

Jennifer and I were walking around the block last night, her beggging to get a car on her 16th, and threatening to get an "older" boyfriend who can drive if we don't.

I banned her getting anyone that is 17 or18 next year, and she comes back with "well, he's not that old."

Okay, who?

It's Seth, a boy she met at a party (chaperoned of course) and he'll have his driver's license next year. Great. It's not the one at the party that was bragging about killing a frog?

No, mom, I wouldn't date a guy like that.

Anyway, still figuring out how Jennifer will get back and forth from school next year, and haven't quite come up with a plan.

FYi, this newsweek article is pretty good about having "the talk" with your tween or teen.

Which ones are harder to raise?

According to this article off CNN, it seems to be which age you're asking about. After reading down to the end, it came to the conclusion that boys early on, an d from pre-teen on, girls. Great.

She's really noticing boys now. Great.

As we're walking up to the cemetery to lay flowers on a friend's grave yesterday, J.'s skipping along (strange, I thought) and says she hopes her friend Marcus invites her soon to the Kent Swim Club soon. Not to beat the heat, but to get a gander at those six-pack abs that some of the boys up there sport. (sorry Marcus).

And she can't wait to go to high school, but there will be so many cute boys there (not going to tell her that the cutes ones are usually seniors, and they don't usually look at freshman, but she can find that out for herself.)

We I asked about the boys in her class now, she just dismissed them as geeks and dorks. On to bigger fish for her.

Why I Don't Trust Middle School Boys

I find out alot about what's important to my daughter in the 5.2 minutes it takes to get from her BF Nicole's to Top Foods.

She's chattering on when we pops with "middle school boys are sooo stupid and annoying"

Stipulated, but what exactly was she talking about?

Oh, they'd just snatched her cell phone during yearbook and ran into the boys' bathroom, where they knew she wouldn't follow. I gave her an alarmed look and had pictures of boys snapping pictures of themselves on it(can you say Borat?), or running up her minutes.

"Mom, you always think the worst! They didn't do anything!"

Well, of middle school boys, yeah, guilty on that first count.

"But they did change dad's cell phone name from "dad" to "angry Irishman," she added, saying they picked this moniker when she told them how grumpy he got over the movie fiasco this weekend.

Yeah, that's going to go over well. I got just as grumpy and had the privilege of chewing her out about 3pm that day. So I wonder what my new tag name is? Probably starts with a "b" and no, I'm not thinking "barbara"

That's the school where all the snobs go

That's the biggest argument so far on where J. wants, and doesn't want to go to school. All along, her father and I were thinking of wavering her yet again out of the Kent School District and sending her to Auburn Mountainview High School.

But apparently, she's made a bunch of friends her middle school, which are all going to Auburn High. Except her BF, of course, who is going to Auburn Moutainview, but is busy needling her parents on the issue as well to change their minds.

She'd do well at either, of course, it's just that Auburn Mountainview is less crowded and has a program that sets the kids on the college/career track from the get-go called ROAR. But all her friends are going to AHS. She might have trouble getting into the AP classes she wants. But all her friends go to AHS.

So round and round we go.

"The only thing that's better about Mountainview, mom, is that the boys are hotter there," she said, during one of this loop-de-loop discussions.

If her dad heard that, he might change his mind.