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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Whales! Whales!

I was screaming this in a high-pitched voice last night, as the family took a mini-vacation out to Ocean Shores - where I spent most of my summers growing up.

Jennifer ran out to see, but quickly turned on the teenage disdain for excitement (when the drama isn't about her) and said "mom, quit squealing". I wasn't squealing. Squeaking with excitement, maybe but not squealing.

But she did appreciate the huge agate I found on the beach, and when I pointed out an owl hunting, she liked that too.

Friday, May 29, 2009

I need a hug

Apparently all the time.

I noticed this when Jennifer sees her friends as she comes to school, while she's talking to them after school and oh, if they meet at games few hours later, hugs again.

I'm not alone in this observation, according to the New York Times story on the topic last week. There are girl-girl hugs, girl-guy (not romantic) and guy-guy (usually preceded by a high-five or knuckle nudge).

It's almost ritualistic, like dogs greeting each other after a hunt, or being apart any time at all. I know some frazzled principals, esp. in middle school, have banned all physical contact, but this doesn't seem to be working. They hug anyway.

I found it interesting in this article that in a text, Facebook world, and since physical contact with the parents in uncool, maybe the 13-18 set do crave some physical contact.

Of course, that doesn't mean they want to see PDA's (public displays of affection) from parents. Ick.

Thursday, May 28, 2009


That's what Jennifer dismissed the Scripts National Spelling Bee earlier today before she started watching it,and rooting for her faves and booing those who she thought to do you spell that word again?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

So, does this look okay?

I couldn't quite believe we were doing this, but gary and I were laying on the bed, I giving him a foot rub for a pulled tendon, and Jennifer's parading in and out of a room with different sets of outfits, asking which goes with what.

This was after about a 20 minute search for a certain top SHE JUST HAD TO HAVE. We finally found it stuffed away in our closet. So on to the next item last night. Helping her pick out an ensemble for Wed.

Grey shorts with pink top? Or how about the grey? Or the purple top? Do these shoes match?

Of course, she eventually ended up wearing something that we had recommended in the first place, but then dismissed.

At one point, the ...oddness of it all, caught up with her as well

"My friends would never believe that I'm asking my parents their opinions on my clothes," she laughed.

We won't tell if you don't.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Maybe dad shouldn't watch this

Jennifer and I were watching Taken last night, and about 30 minutes in, just after the daughter gets kidnapped by Albanian white slave traders, I turned to her and surmised: "maybe your dad shouldn't watch this."

We had been in a tug and pull for months about Jennifer going with her French class to Paris 2 years from now. Gary at first said no, but then relented if I went with her as a parent chaperon. Jennifer's not happy with that plan.

But after watching said daughter in Taken get snatched from a Paris apt, I quickly started the movie after that, when Liam N. goes after daughter with a vengeance and kills everyone (I think I stopped counting bodies at 20) in his way. But they were Albanian slavers, so who cares?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

They just disappear

That was the comment as I dropped by daughter off at Auburn High School today.

Yesterday, I could tell she was shaken up, as an AHS student was killed in a headon collision. A friend of hers survived the crash.

But instead of watching American Idol last night (her dad and I ended up watching it and booing when Adam wasn't picked) she disappeared back in her room, and texted her friends, talking about Andrew and Darius.

"Mom," she said before I let her out for school. "They just disappear" when they're dead.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A boy from Auburn High School died last night

Car was going to fast, he may have been high, prob. not wearing a seat belt.

Andrew was known as a partier, apparently. His parents had kicked him out of the house for it. However, when they made the announcement over the loud speaker today, a girl in Jennifer's class - an ex-girlfriend of his, broke down and began sobbing.

Jennifer was just relieved that the passenger, Darius, who she did know well, survived...apparently because he was asleep.

"Maybe this will teach him NOT to party so much," Jennifer said.

I clucked sympathetically and then stressed again- if you're at a party or place and the ride home looks iffy (as in drunk or high) call us, day or night. No questions asked.

And it had me thinking again. Babies-you worry about crib death Toddlers-choking Elementary-bullies and getting snatched. Now she's a teen. Thankfully on a good path, not pregnant, doing well in school, good friends. I'm actually relieved she'll be able to drive next fall, relieving me of 10 years of pick-up-drop-off duty. And yet.

As Andrew (the kid who died) drilled home, foolish choices behind the wheel (I think he was street racing to impress a girl) can snatch all this away in an instant.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Health class, part II

After they put together the sexual organs, the class moved on today to who was the strongest -men or women.

It seems the teacher told the girls next time the guy bragged that he was big and tough, point to the area of the uterus and note that that's considered one of the strongest muscles in the body.

Apprently this health class conversation continued at the local coffee shop after school, where J decided to torture her b-friend with pictures and articles from "Glamour."

There were articles on sexual disfunction, and wild sexual poses, which J of course had to describe in detail to her best friend and her long suffering boyfriend.

"You didn't do this out loud did you," I squeaked. "The owner will kick you out!"

Okay, okay mom, we'll keep it down next time.

I"ll have to quickly buy a $50 punch card at the coffee store to make sure there is a next time.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Please mommy please

Actually, this plea came two times in the last 24 hours and I said no to both.

One was greeted with a glare, the other with a sigh.

The first came on Sunday when Jennifer, after returning home for a sleepover, decided she wanted to spend the day out at Lief, her sort of boyfriend's house.

"Wasn't this the guy whose mom works 24-7 and wanted to spend some time with her son," I asked.

"yeah, but he asked, and she said it was okay"

More like she was badgered and she finally gave in.

So I and J's dad said no. Actually Gary got to be the bad guy first, and when J got home from said sleepover, she simply stomped into the house and marched to her room.

The second time was this morning, when Jennifer wanted to play hookie and go back to bed. I was sorely tempted, but given it's a crowded Monday, no I couldn't.

She just signed and continued to slick on her mascara.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Oh, and a big butt is a good thing

After Leif got out the car, J. tried to make ammends on the remark she made this weekend.

"All guys like big butts, really it's a good thing"

Tell me that again when I hit size 9 again.

So how do you put this vagina together?

Jennifer was babbling on about her Shakespeare class, and whether I could help her find 2 dream squences (that's what spark notes are for, dearie) when she swithed to health.

OMG, she said, they gave us the parts for a vagina and a penis, and of course Lief (her b-friend at the moment) was in her group, and then they had to assemble said body parts.

"I had no idea there were so many parts of a vagina!" she said.

Neither do most men darl'n.

But apparently Leif was a snap at putting together both parts (hmmm) and was able to answer all the questions about STD's in a snap.

"I was a genius at this," he bragged, as I'm taking him home in the car today.

I wasn't going to go there. I just pretended I hadn't heard.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Mom you have a big butt

But in a good way, my daughter quickly added as she saw the look on my face.

Common, J. I invited you into the dressing room to get an opinion on this new Mother's Day suit, not for a critique of my bod, which I know could lose a few.

"Jennifer!" I sputtered out. "This will teach me to let you in the dressing room"

"Mom, mom, I'm saying it's good. Guys like perky butts."

So you think my butt is perky?

At this point, the sales lady who was getting stray clothes in the next room couldn't stand it anymore and started snorting with laughter.

"Yeah, I know," I called over the wall. "This from a girl who has the metabolism of a greyhound."

"She'll learn," the woman called back (prob. hoping I'd still buy the suit..which I did)

And it did not make my butt look big.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

What do I really want for mother's day?

Actually to be left alone.

To be able to take my paint, my books and my french press, and go outside on the deck and not be asked "where is my black belt," or hear how messy the house is, (yes I know) or if I can play chauffeured to the daughter to the mall. Or do chores, or walk the dog.

But that's not what I said when my hubby asked me that. I said brunch and going to the races was gift enough.

At this point, my daughter launched in, and told him that HE should be able to figure out what I want.

When I told her later what I really wanted, she laughed. And kismet, the 106.9 announcer popped on and said the same thing.

"Probably a good idea you didn't tell dad that," she said after a moment. "Probably would have hurt his feelings."

Yeah, probably.

Friday, May 8, 2009

I like him, I like him not

But now, J is back to liking a guy who she had thought of as just a friend.

She had taken him to tolo - JUSt AS A FRIEND- she stressed, but now she's changed her mind.

He asked for a ride home today, since he'd missed the bus, and he is a bit of a chatterbox, and sings along to all the songs on the radio. I like him.

Although in a very serious voice last night, Jennifer told me she'd had a dream that she was driving in the car with me, home from school, and I'd said this wasn't the guy for her. She needed someone quiet and confident.

Flash forward to the future: OK, sez I. But you're not planning on marrying him, right? And it is just a dream.

NO! and well, yeah.

Well, then have some fun. He makes you laugh, which past ex b-f didn't do.

Although I think she's conflicted about actually being a girlfriend with him, since as I picked her and L. up, lo, two guys she knew were across the street, looking at J.

J admits that she thinks one's hot (this before L. gets in the car)

I can't quite see what she's talking about, but I just nod politely.

But I know enough not to mention Mr. Hot while L. is in the car.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Guys are another species

"WHY do they act the way they do," she cried in fury, after yet another boy backed way from the tornado that is my daughter.

"I think God thought it was funny at the time," I said.

And, I added, it doesn't get any better, and no, they don't grow out of it.

"Well every day, I get compliments on how pretty I am, yet I don't have a boyfriend," she continued, after cussing God for her weird sense of humor.

I explained that she'll probably be dealing with that for a good long while, as being strong woman and a girl who has a tendency to express her opinions...bluntly, some guys might not find that trait, attractive.

"Not that I want you to lose that feature," I said.

Kids are weird

As in seven-year-olds and below, according to J.

She was watching a pair in a coffee shop she and her friends frequent after school.

"And first, they ordered italian creamers, and the boy said "Oh, that makes my throat feel so good,'" she said.

"That's just sooo strange," she continued.

"And then they think they know everything about everything, and have an opinion about everything, and they have to share it with everyone...whether they want to hear it or not."

Silence, waiting for my response.

I tried to avoid eye contact.

Uh huh.

Monday, May 4, 2009

What did you just call me?

I was giving Jennifer static over what she was wearing today, as we pulled into a Starbucks for coffee on the way to school.

BZ, she mumbled.

Didn't think anything of it, as we ordered our lattes (I know, bad mommy. We were late getting out of the house, so since the first-period teacher is tolerant of tardiness, we decided to hell with it and get coffee first) I commented that men, when caught making a mistake, seem to have a default reaction: pretend in fact, they didn't, or blame it on someone else.

She thought for a second and totally agreed.

"They are all bz's" she said.

"What does that mean."


"So what exactly did you call me as we were driving up?"

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Mom and the ponies

Here I was today, nuts, screaming in front of the TV as Mine that Bird a 50-1 no one ever heard of horse from NM (why I liked him) won the Kentucky Derby.

When my daughter figured out how much $$ we could have made on even a $10 bet (I'll save you the calculations, it's about $1,000) she cried, why didn't we bet on that horse, I shook my head. We never bet that kind of money on a horse, sadly, it's only $2 bets. However, we'll get a chance at the ponies next week, when the fam takes me to Emerald Downs for mom's day, my annual treat.

We usually pick the horses by color, by the silks and if there's a woman jockey. Not very scientific, but it works for us.