You so owe me

That was in the glare as Jennifer and I are standing in the lobby at St. Joe's today.

I can't stop snickering. I'm holding a bag that contains a plastic bedpan, a jar with a hazardous waste symbol on it, and blue liquid, and a little scoop for poo. J's in this case. This is what she needs to conduct a fecal matter sample to confirm whether she has pin worms or not. Now she self-diagnosed on WebMD and the doc just gave her the pills (2) to clear out her system. So the sample the nurse said to take in on her own (sitting in a Target bag at her feet) was not needed after all.

But then her doc filled out a lab sheet and said, might as well walk 'em over and have them test it. When I handed the target bag to the clinic manager, she looked askance and asked me how fresh it was. At this time, I notice my daughter is edging farther and farther away from em. Thanks, leave me with your s*(&^&.

When I told her Jennifer had collected the sample last night, the techs said nope, has to be in their container, fresh, - as in same day - and collected their way.

It was at this point I started to giggle. There was NO WAY J was doing this again. So we collected the pills, and dumped the bag on the way out.

Challenge from the daughter

AFter seeing me go back and check my Facebook page for the upteeth time, Jennifer challenged me to keep off Facebook, and twitter for an entire day. I should have challenged her not to text for a day and see if she can do it (:.

But for now, I prob. won't. She got whacked in the back of the head a few days a go, and sustained a concussion during a b-ball game. It was minor, so for two days, I was trying to read the tea leaves of what was wrong with her, until the school nurse called, said yes, it's a concussion and get thee to the docs. Great. Now I'm up for worst mom award, since I"d just been pushing Tylenol on her all this time.

Gads. I had a talk with her coach, saying look, I don't expect you to hold her hand, but if you see her get checked like that again CALL ME. You can't expect a 15 year old to give an accurate description of getting her bell rung. J and Gary were worried I was going to chew on her, but I think it worked out. I didn't chew. But she got the message.

Don't mess with the nice doctor the first time you meet her, please

That was what was going through my mind as Jennifer, dressed in those wonderful open backed robes, sat on the table, while her new doc (a woman and my current doc) grilled on any sexual activity (no), bulimia (no), drugs (no), alcohol (no) and her general habits.

I could tell by the look on my daughter face that she was thinking of fessing up to it all, just to get Debra to stop. This was for the sports physical that all athletes have to have every year and Jennifer REFUSED this time to go to Pediatrics NW.

"All there are are kids and babies there!" And she has a man doc. A nice one mind you. But a man nonetheless. And Jennifer wasn't going to put up answering questions about pubic hair and sexual activity from him.

So we switched to my doc. And hence the grilling yesterday.

"What, exactly, did she expect me to say in front of you," Jennifer asked later, after getting a cervical cancer vaccine shot (I've given up telling Jennifer that she's through with shots. Every time I say that, they come up with another).

"I was about ready to say, yes, I puke after every meal, is there a problem with that?" Jennifer grinned.

Since Debra is such a nice lady and a good doc, I'm glad she didn't. But I can see Jennifer's point.

Mom, I'm too old to go here anymore...

My daughter said this as we're sitting in Pediatrics Northwest, Federal Way office, surrounded by newborns and two-year-olds. She's been seeing Dr. Ory since she was, oh two days old, and now, 14 years later, she's beginning to notice the age difference.

Same holds true when we visit Kent's Children's Dental Care. There might be some kids there who are 10 or 12, but usually, she's the oldest one. So I finally relented and took her to my dentist, who carefully gained her trust (J. had had an awful experience when she was five. She had 13 cavities due to high fevers when she was a baby stripping away her enamel. The dentist was not sympathetic.)

So, after an hour in the dentist chair, filling a cavity last week, J. had decided that Dr. Kutz is okay. One hurdle down. Now I just need to find an adult doc she can trust. My husband had it right, if a doctor would just specialize in tween or teen medicine, they could make a mint.