Questions that Make My Head Explode for $800, Alec

Mom, what does that mean?

This question sort of took me off guard, as a. we were watching TV at home, not an R movie in the theaters, and b. as I recall, it was a comedy. PG-13 to boot.

Anyway, the question : What is the s-word, rhymes with lobotomy?

In the few heartbeats it took me to answer that, a few options came to mind.

A. pretend my cell is buzzing
B. pretend I didn't hear her
C. tell her to go ask her dad (really not an option)
D. let her find out from her friends by Googling the word.

However, I flashed on the boys that ran into the bathroom with her cell phone last week and decided against option "d." I didn't want those boys telling me daughter anything. Or discussing this with her girlfriends.

So, with deep breath, in my calmest voice, which I was hoping wouldn't squeak, I told her the basics. Her eyes grew big, and then she just dropped it. No follow up questions, thank god. I guess her reporter DNA doesn't run as deep as I thought.

I guess I should have prepped for this, given that I have taken her to "R" movies, where yes there is violence (which -given a choice between violence or sex- violence bothers me the most) which I why, sorry Viggo, we turned off "Eastern Promises." as well as "History of Violence."

But we did see "Borat," tho I did notice I was the only one with a child in there under 18. I probably got the hairy eyeball from the adults behind me. I thought it was hilarious. So did she.

I've decided there are "Rs" and there are "Rs." The violent ones I'm likely to pass on and forbid J. from seeing, unless its essential to the story (Letters from Iwo Jima falls in this category).

Hmm, may make an exception for Sweeny Todd and No Country for Old Men, given it's Oscar season and all.

On sex, Gary is stricter in movie-land than I am with J. But that's okay, like My Space, it never hurts to be to curb the bit at this age.

Still, sometimes you end up defining words you'd rather not.