Should we raise ass holes?

For their own good of course.

I was discussing this situation with a friend today, as she was bemoaning the fact that her husband was now looking for another job, since he just got a new boss that wants him to work a gazillion hours a week, and is generally one of those office predators you'd like to avoid.

In journalism, these types are common, and often climb to the top of the food chain to become executive editors and the like, while the common worker bees drudge away in the trenches until they are found slumped over their computers, or ,if they are lucky, get a buyout.

My friend was particularly annoyed because her husband (if you look in Websters, his name is probably mentioned by "nice guy.") always seems to have this happen to him. He'll hire someone, and then before he knows it, they've smarmed their way to the top over him - if not in title then in the office food chain - while he's just doing his job. He usually only find this out when he notices the slime trail up his back.

""I just have to be asking myself," she said. "Am I raising my kids to be doormats? (be nice, play fair, don't stab people in the back, put family first) Maybe I should raise them to be ass holes."

I feel her pain. And I've asked that questions myself. Now fortunately, I doubt J. would let anyone walk over her. If they tried, I'm pretty sure they'd find out my 100-lb daughter with golden locks has sharps claws and teeth. Believe me, I've seen her in the snarling mess mode. It's not pretty. But effective.

"When you get to be my age, you just get tired of putting up with all the bull shit," she commented recently. "I'm going to call people out when I don't agree with them or what they are doing."

I almost missed this last part, because I was laughing at the first.

But still. I do try to teach her to be fair, to consider all sides, the Golden Rule, say please, work hard, to not get a laugh at someone else's expense, to listen. But I wonder, truly, if I should also say, always carry an emotional shank in that Abercrombie purse of yours. Don't be afraid to use it.