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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Meddling or minding the store?

That 's what this WSJ story seems to explore when it talks about teens dating and how parents respond (either with a rigid set of rule, or a softer touch). And it seems to say more about the parents ' comfort level with each other , than about who Johnny or Jane is dating on any given day.

Gary and I seem to be on the more gentle hand role than the set rules role. We need to know where she is, who she's with and preferably meet the parents of said girl or boyfriend before an outing.

J's out at Wild Waves right now, and of course, hasn't called, but I didn't specifically ask her to either. So now I'm going to call her. As for boyfriends, well she just informed me she broke up with her latest amore after 4 days. So no worries on dating, at least for the next 24 hours.

5 comments:

MommyCheryl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MommyCheryl said...

Too funny. I was just reading this:
www.alphamom.com/wonderland/2008/06/are_our_children_overprotected.php

Which is basically about the general overprotective atmosphere kids are being raised in these days.

I think it's the very root of parenting -- or at least the essence of the biggest parenting issue at all ages. How much do we actually supervise/hover/protect and how much do we let them explore on their own. I suspect nobody's gotten it exactly right yet. Or ever will.

Barbara Clements said...

Great link cheryl, esp. when you read through to the comments.

I received much more range than I'm afraid Jennifer ever will. My mom used to kick me out of the house on sunny, 95 degree days like this weekend, and tell me to NOT show up or check in until dark.

So out to the woods my BF and I would go, for hours.

And the topic of failure is interesting too. Letting our kids fail can be good for them. I do believe that, as hard as it is to do.

BC

MommyCheryl said...

I had to face this myself last night. We took the boys to the Interurban Trail section near our house. They rode bikes (with my adult niece -- hmm.)while we walked. The return trip was largely downhill. Chas has just learned to ride sans training wheels in the last week. Braking is not a forte of either boy. I stook at watched Chas roll (careen?) far too fast, his front wheel wobbling to prove how not in control he really was,ahead of me and out of sight. And I did the mental check off. What's the worst that can happen? Badly skinned knees and elbows most likely. His helmet is on. Check. (Something I NEVER had of course.) He had an adult in reasonable proximity. Check.

But it was hard not to keep screaming ("keep" as opposed to the two times -- once for each boy -- I did yell) at him to be sure to use his brakes to slow down.

When I was a kid, my parents never had to actually watch me do this stuff -- because I was out on my own pretty much from dawn to dusk. Ignorance IS bliss.

Barbara Clements said...

I remember one time, without a helmet of course, riding down this steep hill near my house on my bike (I was about 14) and I hit a rock.

All the sudden I'm ass over tea kettle and the bike wraps itself in a knot. Scrapes and bruises everywhere. I stand up crying, realize there is no one to hear (this was before the posh new development cut down all the trees) and so I lugged myself and the bike home and began to whimper again (: as I walked in the front door.

Good thing mom never saw that one either.

We need to get J a new bike, and she's chomping at the bit to ride around the neighborhood, but we just learned that a level 2, or is it 3? sex offender has moved in a home one street down. Great.

I wonder if there is any service that would rent you a rottweiler to tag along with your kid?