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Thursday, December 27, 2007

Mom, can my BF spend the night?

A reasonable request.

Except for the fact that Nicole, said BF, is allergic to cats, and we have three, with a fourth trying very hard to join the household.

When I reminded both J. and Nicole of this, both said it's no big deal as long as she sleeps in J's room where the cats don't hang out (mostly).

I kept hoping Nicole's mom might say no, but she didn't (probably wondering what the hell I was thinking saying yes.)

So I said yes, made up a bed a newly washed sheets in J's room and then laid awake half the night listening for any signs of an asthmatic attack. Not a wheeze. I checked later with Gary, and he was listening for the same signs, as was my mom, who spent the night on the couch.

So as the adults drank their extra strong coffee this am, two chipper teenagers emerged from J's room. I think I"m just going to bite the bullet and say no next time.

3 comments:

MommyCheryl said...

I know this will label me as a total geek (as will use of the word "geek"), but I just don't see the allure of spendng the night at someone else's house. Much easier to sleep in my own bed etc.

But that's not really the point. As the mother of a very allergic, very asthmatic child, this post speaks to me in a couple of different ways. First, it's so very hard too limit your child's experiences because they "might" have an allergic reaction etc. We want to tell our kids to just be kids and do the things everyone else is doing. I suppose it's like any other chronic health condition that befalls our children: as parents we feel utterly ridiculous guilt about it. As if we are responsible for whatever DNA strands we passed along. (OK, in my case, there is some modicum of responsibility. More than once I've felt like I needed to apologize to Chas for selecting a sperm donor who had an allergy to shellfish. But then, if I'd ruled him out on that basis, Chas wouldn't even exist. So it's a horrendous Catch 22 that can leave me with a headache if I think about it too much.)

Anyway, I'm sure the girl's mom took adequate precautions -- probably dosing her up good with some antihistaminees and making sure she had her inhaler. And the truth is, even at 4 I'm a pretty good judge of how much exposure Chas can take. By the time he's 14, if I think it's OK for him to be around 3 or 4 cats on an overnight, it will be based on a lot of experience.

The second thing about this post that really caught my attention was your concern (and Gary's and your Mom's) about it. I can only hope that Chas has friends whose families are just as thoughtful. Too many people tend to think of allergies and even asthma as just nuisances without recognizing how dangerous they can be. So kudos to you for not just brushing it off. I live in fear of the day some kid's parent serves PBJs when Chas is around. He knows enough not to eat any (and always asks if things have eggs or peanuts in them when he's not with me or Steph) but at some point he's likely to slip up and just grab one of what everyone else is having.

That's why if I leave him with anyone even briefly, I give them a lesson on using the Epi-Pen. Because just seeing it tends to remind people that we aren't just talking about a runny nose and a few hives here...

Anonymous said...

Yes, Gary is allergic to bee stings, and we still need to get an epi pen.

One day, long ago, when it was hot and the scotch broom was blooming away, he checked himself into the hospital because he was having difficulty breathing.

So I take this very seriously, and almost said no, but then decided to give the sleepover a try.

Angela's mom said...

We've never had a serious reaction that required a trip to the ER, but I always worry the first time will happen when I'm not around.
Probably the worst thing that's happened w/ Angela and her asthma was the time we took her hiking up at Mt. Rainier with her MOM and DAD, who irresponsibly forgot the inhaler.
I am always carping at the spouse not to hike way ahead of me and leave me in the dust, but then, I am fairly slow compared to him. And on this particular hike, we were trying to keep up w/ a bunch of 20-something pals of our niece, who was visiting.
So spouse and the young-ins walked on ahead, leaving me and Angela behind. I noticed she was just slowing down (she usually keeps up w/ dad) and down and down, until we were barely walking at all. Then, all of a sudden, she had to stop and said her side hurt when she was breathing.
BING! I suddenly remembered my daughter has asthma. (It's easy to forget sometimes, because she has long stretches of doing very, very well)
So, since I was out of cell phone range, I had to decide what to do: sit with her during an asthma attack, and watch a potential disaster take place, or run and catch up w/ the group.
I chose the latter, all the while picturing dangerous animals with claws and large teeth pouncing on my unprotected only begotten child. I ran like the proverbial bat out of hell, and finally caught up w/ the group.
Lucky for us, one of them was a respiratory therapist, who ran back and helped Angela through some breathing exercises that literally got her out of the woods.
Now, whenever the spouse runs ahead of me too far on the trail, I just remind him of that scary day.